Sparkle
by kat3.alwaysxox
Summary: Edward and Bella have nothing on us.
1. Chapter 1

Note at bottom...

Warning: Twilight bashing involved.

* * *

Chad watched in amusement as Sonny Monroe paced back and forth outside in the parking lot between the set lots of _Mackenzie Falls_ and _So Random_. Her hands were clenched into tight fists, and her normally smiling face was covered in a sharp scowl, making him wonder if all hell was about to break lose. After standing there watching for a while, he was only able to gather a couple of words that came from her mouth.

"…werewolves…vampires…oh, I sparkle…"

"Sonny?"

"…marble…no plot…brainwashed screaming girls…"

"Um, Sonny?"

"…perfect…vegetarian…stupid…urgh."

"Sonny!"

"What?!?" Sonny spun around, only to come face to face with Chad. He stood there with his sleeves rolled up revealing his toned, muscular arms, and smirking at the frustrated expression etching her face that soon turned to a panicked, embarrassed blush. "Oh, it's you."

"What do you mean 'Oh, it's you.'?"

"Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say: 'OhMiCDC! It's Chad Dylan Cooper!'" She squealed imitating a fan girl, clapping her hands together, before folding her arms across her chest and sighing. He mimicked her position, closing and re-opening his mouth several times before he spoke.

"May I ask why you are stomping around my thinking space like a crazy woman?"

"Your thinking space is in the parking lot?" She bit her lip; trying to contain her laughter at the fact the 'Almighty Chad Dylan Cooper' finds solitude by standing under a palm tree out by dumpsters in a parking lot.

"Yes, actually. But then it was invaded by…fairies? Why are you dressed as a fairy?"

"Well, sorry to invade your Chadtastic bubble. And it's for a sketch, or I should say _was_ for a sketch. We were going to do a parody of _Twilight_, before Tawni refused because she, and almost all the other female population, have been brainwashed by make believe that vampires playing baseball create thunderstorms." Her scowl returned. She spoke the word Twilight as a curse, and rolled her eyes. Chad stood bemused at her actions.

"I'm guessing you're not part of the female population you speak of?" It wasn't as much of a question as a confirmed statement.

"Wow, you actually were right!" He rolled his cornfield blue eyes.

"I'm always right. And Twilight? Isn't that those books?"

"Yes!" She huffed, forcing her annoyed mannerisms to return, and stood dazed for a minute. He chuckled at her expression, undecided on what to say next. He didn't like that feeling. It made him feel unprepared.

"So, what's the matter?" Her jaw tightened, aggravated that he had to pick today of all days to show some human like feelings, or take any interest in anyone but himself.

"I'm upset, and angry, and GAH." Sonny swung her arms out in exasperation, and continued to pace.

"Well, yes. I gathered that much. You must be more specific. So, you're upset and angry because?"

"Because of _Twilight_!" She turned to face him, with her hair flying. Chad stumbled backwards slightly, before regaining his seemingly flawless composure. After a few minutes, the last of his frozen yogurt, and listening to a couple of rants about glitter, Chad decided to speak again.

"What's so special? Why does Laurie like it so much?"

"Her name is Taw-"

"Whatever." Sonny glowered and exhaled a sharp breath.

"Her name is Tawni! As in T-A-W-N-I! Been a part of the studio for the past two years? And TWANI likes it so much because evidently she's some hopeless romantic, with no life apart from flirting with boys and daydreaming about prince charming, or in this case- _Edward Cullen_."

"What type of name is Edward Cullen?" Chad wrinkled his nose in disgust. He certainly didn't like the fact some fictional Edward guy was taking away his fan base. Especially when Chad is a much better name, from this century.

"I don't know! I read the book, thinking that it must be good if all this fuss is going on about it, and discovered all it was was a gooey, fluffy, lovey dovey, twisted form of a romance novel written like-"

"Does this have to do with angst of some ones failed romances?"

"Don't interrupt me, Cooper."

"Don't Cooper me, Mon-"She glared at him, and he immediately stopped, raising his hands in mock offense.

"I haven't even gotten to the worst part! You see, there's this girl and then there's this boy-" Sonny held out one of her hands at girl, and the other at boy before squeezing them into tight fists when she was interrupted again.

"Wow, I hate it already." The sarcasm was evident in his voice.

"Stop interrupting! You're such a self-centered, opinionative-"Sonny stopped, unsure of what the word she was looking for. She bit the sides of her cheeks, pursing her lips. "-_male_! Where was I?"Sonny sighed in frustration, as Chad started to object before stopping himself.

"You were at the boy and girl part." He added, running his hand through his shaggy, dirty blonde hair.

"Right, boy and girl. Continuing from where I was rudely interrupted-"

"I wasn't rude; I was just letting my humorous sarcasm shine through." She shot a glare. This was defiantly not the Sonny Monroe he knew.

"You did it again! What type of manners where you taught as a child?" He stifled a small laugh. "It's not funny! Honestly, I thought you Hollywood people knew better!" Chad furrowed his brow.

"I have fine manners. And you're a Hollywo-"

"Stop interrupting!"

"You stop interrupting!"

"I was talking first!"

"So? When Chad Dylan Cooper talks, people-"

"Why do you talk about yourself in third person? It's weird. Anyway, were was I? Oh yes. Boy and girl. Well the girl's name is Bella Swan. Do you know what that means?" He stuck his hand in front to stop her, but she continued. "Beautiful Swan. _Beautiful Swan!_ Isn't that wonderful! So then she moves to this small town called Forks, Washington, which she hates because it rains all the time-"

"Ew."

"I know! I don't get why she has against small towns! She would rather live in _Phoenix_. What's so-"

"No. I meant 'ew' as in you got dirt on my shoe."

"Will you stop bothering me with your petty remarks?" Sonny scoffed, coming to a stop, and putting her hands on her hips.

"Will you stop bothering me _period_?"

"You're the one who asked what was wrong."

"I didn't expect to get a book review." His arms relaxed back down to his sides from their crossed position when he saw the expression on her face. He couldn't quite place what it was. Was it anger? Hurt? Suddenly, he almost felt _bad_ for her. For Sonny! He sighed heavily. "Continue. But could you speed it up? I have to be back on set soon."

Sonny was taken aback by his sudden gesture or politeness, and kindness, and un-jerkiness. Almost like he, dare she say, _cared_. She was not going to get a head of herself though. She looked up at him, and saw the light reflecting off his hair, and a slight tint on laughter in his eyes that she hadn't noticed before.

"Why are you looking at me?" She jumped slightly at the sound of Chad's voice, which started to bring back into reality.

"N-no reason." The calm, collected Sonny had returned for a moment, before stumbling over her words. She had never noticed how good looking Chad was, she was always too blinded by his ego. A small smile grew on her face, as his smug, conceited smirk returned. Sonny sighed. _Back to normal_.

"Sonny?" She tried to speak, but nothing seemed to come out.

"Why are you looking at me?" She stood there, speechless. She hated herself for being speechless.

"It's ok. I understand. It happens. Are you dazzled by me? It's not uncommon." Her regular smile turned to a frown of rage, and his smirk instantly faded at seeing her expression. Dazzle. That terrible word brought her completely back to reality.

"Don't say that! Don't say it ever again! Dazzle is a terrible word!" She shrieked, her voice returning. Chad thought she was yelling about how he implied feelings, but because of a word? He backed up a little, eyes widening. Was he _scared_? Impossible. Maybe surprised. That must be it. Chad Dylan Cooper does not get scared. Yet right now, he felt a small tremble in the pit of his stomach. Was he scared…of _Sonny_? Of all people, Sonny? No. It was surprised. He was surprised his happy little ball of sunny sunshine Sonny contained so much anger. And because of a book! A puzzled look stayed fixated on his face.

"Dazzle? What's so bad about daz-"

"Stop!"

"Daz-"

"Stop!"

"Da-"

"What part of _stop_ don't you get?" Her eyes flickered with fury.

"Hey no one tells Chad Dylan Cooper what to do."

"There you go again with the third person!"

"You know, if I weren't so breathtakingly handsome, I admit, then maybe it'd be weird to say my full name. But, look at me. I wouldn't be complete without the three parts. And you'll be first to admit, I daz-"Chad winked as Sonny grimaced.

"Where was I?"She stopped him, and jerked her head, batting her eyelashes, prohibiting Chad to give her another chance to scold him.

"You-"

"Right, thank you. Anyway, Bella meets a guy called Edward in her new school, who just happens to be a vampire but we'll get to that later-"

"Later? How long-"

"-and he acts like he hates her. He really doesn't though, but that's beside the point. But even though she thinks he hates her, she goes on and on about his golden, excuse me, _bronze_ hair, and startling eyes, and muscular body, etcetera."

"This guy seems pretty cool. You know what, we could-"Sonny's face expressed a flat out annoyed expression, causing Chad to rethink his words.

"That sounds- annoying, slightly obsessive, and a tiny bit clingy."

"I'm glad you understand! I tried to talk about this to Nico, but he almost jumped me because he happens to think Kristen Stewart is the tiniest bit attractive-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Kristen Stewart?"

"Yes. She's Bella in the movie."

"Is it too late to change my opinion on this Bella person? Because-"

"Yes! I don't care whether it's Kristen Stewart or not, the character is just so-so-_boring_."

"As oppose to you?"

"Yes."

"Ok then." His smirk returned.

"If you don't mind, may I please continue?"

"Go ahead."

"Well, at least half of the book consists of his perfectness, and mysteriousness."

"You don't say."

"Well, this is where it possibly reaches a climax of stupidity."

"What happens? Do the zombies come?"He waved his hands out to the side of him.

"No. You've been watching too many movies." Sonny shook her head, with a small smile. "This is where the _werewolves_ come in."

"Oh, I shouldn't have mistaken that."Chad rolled his eyes, and shifted his weight from leg to leg in boredom.

"There is a distinct difference. Anyway, Bella doesn't know Jacob is a werewolf, and neither does he  
yet-"

"Who is Jacob?"

"The werewolf! Weren't you listening? You know what, don't answer that. But he tells Bella some old tale about vampires, and Bella realizes that Edward must be a vampire."

"How riveting."

"But they fall in love anyway. Even though Jacob and Edward are sworn enemies, and Bella is torn in between the one she loves and her best friend…" Sonny trailed off, deep in thought. She wasn't quite sure why, but she almost pitied Bella. She quickly shook off the feeling, and continued the story.

"Sorry I got a head of myself. Anyway, Edward and his, well, 'family', are special vampires. This is the funniest part-"

"That ruins the suspense when you tell me."

"Yeah, yeah. But Edward and his family drink blood, but get this; they only drink animal blood, because they're 'vegetarian' vampires. All of them are indestructible, and feel like marble."

"Marble?" Chad raised his eyebrows. He was starting to understand what Sonny meant. How were girls attracted to cold, hard as stone, fictional vampires, when they could have him?

"Yes! And most of them have special powers. Like reading minds and predicting the future…"

"That's fascinating." He tapped his foot impatiently.

"They also make thunderstorms by playing baseball, and run super fast, and get prepared for this one-"

"I was born prepared." He sarcastically stated while he rolled his eyes for at least the tenth time during this conversation.

"They can't go in the sunlight-"

"What type of excuse for vampires are they?"

"-because they sparkle."

"Sparkle?"

"Yep."

"Literally sparkle?"

"Yes. As opposed to what, figuratively?" Sonny scrunched her nose.

"Just checking."

"Well. Now I have an important question."

"Which is?"

"Team Edward or Team Jacob?"Chad looked almost insulted by the question.

"What happened to Team Chad?"Sonny rolled her eyes, and playfully stuck out her tongue.

"It disappeared next to your popularity."

"Ha, funny. You should join a comedy show or something."

"I'm already on one?"

"Really? What's it called?"

"_So Random_?"

"That's funny, I've never heard of it."

Sonny sighed. Just when she thought things were changing. Just when she thought that he might possibly care.

"Well thanks for listening, and sorry for, you know, the book report."

"Yeah, whatever. Now I have to go to set, I'm already ten minutes late."

"Yeah. I have to figure out a new sketch."

"I'll see yah around, okay Sonny."

"Yeah. Bye Chad." Sonny turned one direction, and felt Chad's eyes staring at her as she walked away. Just before she opened the door to the _So Random_ set, she heard footsteps behind her, and something grab her arm.

"Sonny." Chad spun her around, so they were facing each other.

"Yes?" He released her arm, and started to walk away, making her wonder what he was doing. Then, as soon as she opened the door, she heard Chad's voice fill the air.

"Edward and Bella have nothing on us."

And who really needs Edward Cullen when you have Chad Dylan Cooper?

* * *

Well, I don't really know what to say. The end was random. The whole thing was slightly suckish, but oh well...It's late...Did you guys see the new Sonny with a Chance episode? I saw it two days before because I have VZ Fios, and I think I died several times....I know I definantly wrote at least 5 one-shots for SWAC after that episode...Maybe if you want I'll post...Just tell me!

Yes, in this story I think they are both a little OOC. But, through out there is suppose to be suttle hints...

Anyway, sorry for Twilight bashing Twilight fans. I don't dislike Twilight, I just was anooyed with my overly obsessed friend, and decided to chanel it through into a SWAC fic...

Sorry for any mistakes.

Oh, and do you guys kind of get why I choose Twilight? Apart from my friend...

Hate it? Love it? Tell me!

Review, you know you want to.


	2. Sequel

Hey all,

Wanted to let you know I'm about to post the sequel to 'Sparkle' under my profile. It's called 'First Sight'. Thanks so much for all the reviewing, and favoriting, and alerting! Next story up is sequel to 'Dr. Pepper', then an angst piece I've already started…

xx

Kate


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